dudley_do_ride: The Tall Glass of Cold Milk Thread - 4/21/18

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The Tall Glass of Cold Milk Thread

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Female Performer Chat: The Tall Glass of Cold Milk Thread

Created by: dudley_do_ride

4/21/18 @ 6:47pm (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,271

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Think being drunk is fun? Do ya? :drinkup

Just ask a tall cold glass of milk... man. Ain't no picnic. 'specially just as you exit the esophagus.

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

4/21/18 @ 6:56pm (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,271

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I come from Nordic stock. I can pound milk. Glass after glass.

This is not just a fun fact. It is a lifestyle.

My ancestors tried to settle Greenland. They failed after a while. The Inuits on the other hand thrived.

The reason is simple. The milk kept freezing in the glass. My ancestors kept getting knocked unconscious by milk blocks sliding out their glasses. Then the Inuits would sneak in and take all their blubber and jerky.

You ever woke up on the floor with a milk ice bump on your head, your stomach growling, and gone to the shelves (don't need a fridge in Greenland) and saw that your blubber and jerky is all gone? It's enough to make you give up, pull up stakes, and move back to balmy Norway man.

mmmmmm getting the craving for some milk. I'm fresh out. Gonna chill a glass in preparation, go to the store, and grab some plastic jugs. I love jugs. Fulla milk is the best.

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

4/21/18 @ 10:39pm (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,271

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A really tall glass of milk!

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

4/23/18 @ 11:22pm (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,271

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A glass of milk that is not really tall nor really of glass. But metaphorically speaking tall. And analomooooo- sely glass! If not crystal!

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

4/23/18 @ 11:41pm (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,271

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The giant insectoid hove into view. Its mandibles rubbing gleefully together. Its compound eyes gyring and gimballing.

The ambush sprung and the victim at its mercy... it clicked six razor sharp claws on tile as it turned to the fridge.

It left searing acid slobber on the door as it pulled it open with metal scarring mandibles. And took out a gallon jug of milk.

The poor victim could only gibber unreasonably as the insectoid went to profile and ripped open the jug with claw and proboscis to messily guzzle down the part that didn't spew all over the floor... Viking style... with straight armed glee.

"Whaaaaa aaaaaaaa" stammered out the unfortunate.

The insectoid seemed to understand. It cocked its head and rubbed its tummy as if to say: "I think you are gonna upset my tum tum"

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

4/26/18 @ 10:18pm (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,271

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Created by: Eva Darkness

4/27/18 @ 1:21am (EST) |UTC - 5:00

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It's nearly the weekend! Milk! Milk I say! Milk for eeeeeeevvvvveeeeeeeerrrrrrryyyyyyyyyooooooooooonnnnnneeeeeee!!!

And do the botchi dance! Botchi! Botchi! Botchi!

Shake shake shake! Shake shake shake! Do the milk shake! Do the miiiiiilllllk shake!

Milk.....it does the body good.....However I am Native....so I am a bit lactose intolerant...in the tum tum....everywhere else.....I seem to take it just fine.

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

4/28/18 @ 11:57am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,271

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Milk.....it does the body good.....However I am Native....so I am a bit lactose intolerant...in the tum tum....everywhere else.....I seem to take it just fine.

Milk brings joy in all its forms and uses. I am glad you have experienced... milk baths.

I do not wear viking horns in the tub... but I do stretch before a siege... and talk about my milk in kind. The milk frothy. The siege perilous. The retort contemptuous. The fart odorous. The foul flagrant. The witch-hunter persuviant.

All is connected in the pail. The great tin circular pail of the Dunny One.

Beware the ellipical brass pail of the Evil One!

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

4/29/18 @ 1:39pm (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,271

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You knew this was coming... I am COMPELLED to show it

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Created by: davidzzzzzz

4/29/18 @ 2:00pm (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 13,827

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Her look of disappointment says it all, "but...I asked for an assful of warm milk."

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

4/29/18 @ 9:18pm (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,271

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Her look of disappointment says it all, "but...I asked for an assful of warm milk."

Sadly Hitchcock's ambitious plans for a controversial milk enema were overruled by the studio:

Johnny: Here's the milk bitch... where do you want it?

Monkeyface: Oh Johnny, I don't know anymore. Paris... Beaky... Insurance...

Johnny: Oh cut the yammering and bend over. I'll teach you to mess in my affairs!

Monkeyface: Oh Johnny! That isn't a... a...

Johnny: An enema kit? Of course you silly fool. Now get flat on your belly now! We'll use your bed since you won't sleep in mine!

Monkeyface: But how do I know that the milk isn't... that it isn't...

Johnny: *applies gag* That'll keep all that silly nonsense from spewing out of your rebellious mouth. *squirts in the milk*

Monkeyface: mfffff mffffffff Beaky.... mffffff mother.... mfffffff milk!

Johnny: *spank spank* take that Monkeyface! that ass'll blush like never before. *squirts in more milk*

Monkeyface: mmmmmmffffffffffffff! father! mmmmmmmffffffffffffff milk!

Johnny: Yes monkeyface! lot's and lot's of milk. And your favorite xy22 terma vibe *zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*

Monkeyface: Ufffffff! mfff ooooooooooooooo ooooo oooooo ooooooooooo!!!!

Johnny: Holy cow! I've never seen you orgasm like that! You must have been under ENORMOUS stress. Oh well. See ya tomorrow!

*click*

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Created by: davidzzzzzz

4/30/18 @ 8:14am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 13,827

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More warm milk. :jerkoff

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Created by: alberich

4/30/18 @ 12:23pm (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: breaking in, shaping up, then checking out
Posts: 970

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Burp 🥛

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

5/1/18 @ 12:46am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,271

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The night before. Johnny's way.

He coulda stayed in... Had a tall cool one. But he reached out... and found Salino. Ain't that how it always is?

Yep I am wiping froth off my mouth and keeping to the straight and narrow see? Salino is gonna have to get up pretty early, right around when the milk man delivers, to get me. You folla?

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

5/1/18 @ 6:23am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,271

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Of course the truth is... One Gondorff in your posse is worth a life's supply of milk!

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

5/5/18 @ 11:04am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,271

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And here's something milk wishes it could do... we all have our unfulfilled dreams

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Created by: alberich

5/5/18 @ 2:52pm (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: breaking in, shaping up, then checking out
Posts: 970

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And here's something milk wishes it could do... we all have our unfulfilled dreams

The end of all my hopes the end of all my dreams
How could they know a palace there had been
Behind the door where my love reigned as queen
No milk today it wasn't always so, the company was gay we turn'd night into day

https://youtu.be/y1NY6qc6Y40

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Created by: davidzzzzzz

5/7/18 @ 8:46am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 13,827

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

5/12/18 @ 12:52pm (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,271

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There were 25 stoats and 11 marmots in the field where the hiker drank his thermos of milk.

What was the expiration date on the milk carton from which he filled his thermos?

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

5/13/18 @ 9:38am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,271

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There were 25 stoats and 11 marmots in the field where the hiker drank his thermos of milk.

What was the expiration date on the milk carton from which he filled his thermos?

All right, all right there must not be any further delay. The milkman cometh. He cometh for the just and for the unjust. He cometh for the sad and the happy. The good milkman cometh for us all.

The answer to the puzzle: There was no carton at all. With all the stoats and marmots the hiker got his milk au natural.

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